


If You Love Me Let Me Go

by Creazy



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:44:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3250169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creazy/pseuds/Creazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night after Aaron confesses his feelings to Robert, Hazel shows up at the Woolpack. Aaron gets overwhelmed, Chas gets mad, and Robert gets confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Love Me Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by a post on tumblr about Hazel showing up and Aaron running out of the bar, but then it took on a mind of its own.

“Aaron…mate…are you even listening to me?” Aaron turned to see Adam staring at him.

“What? Sorry, I got distracted.” Distracted was putting it lightly. The tension in the air was thick as ever. Robert was lounging in the back of the pub with Lawrence and Chrissie. Aaron couldn’t help but be constantly distracted by it all.

“What’s the matter with you? You’ve been like this all day.” Aaron tried to shrug off Adam’s comment even though he knew it was the truth. He couldn’t tell Adam that he had confessed his feelings to Robert the night before and he definitely couldn’t tell him that Robert hadn’t returned the sentiment.

“You all right, love?” Chaz questioned approaching the boys. Even his mother could tell something was wrong. He just had to play it off.

It didn’t take long sitting with both pairs of eyes on him before he snapped. “I’m fine, would you just leave me alone.” That’s exactly what he needed. He needed to be alone. He needed to be away from Adam and Chaz, and he especially needed to be away from Robert.

He could hear him talking to Chrissie and Lawrence in the back of the pub and it was killing him. The smooth sound of his voice was only driving his tensions higher. It killed him to know that Robert was fine and that he had completely moved on with his life in less than 24 hours while Aaron was sat feeling miserable and dejected.

“Well we need to make those calls so we can see if we can make any other deals for the yard.” Adam said trying to change the subject.

Aaron didn’t want to talk about the business either. He didn’t want to talk about anything that had to do with Robert. There was enough of that going on in his head. He snuck a look over at Robert trying to be discreet. He couldn’t handle being in the pub with him. It was driving him insane.

“Yeah, guess we do.” Aaron managed to say before he heard a slight noise from Chaz.

“What are you doing here?!” Chaz exclaimed loud enough to draw attention of several people around them. He turned to see the cause of all of the commotion and once he did he froze. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He felt like he was drowning.

“I just wanted to drop by and see how everyone is doing.... Aaron…” Hazel started, but he couldn’t handle it. He stood up from the bar hearing his pint go crashing to the ground and pushed his way out the door as quickly as he could. He had to get away from there. Anywhere would be better than there. It was all too much.

Once he got outside he just started walking. He wasn’t quite sure where, but he needed to get as far away from them as possible. He heard his name being called from behind him and his heart stopped momentarily but soon resumed when he realized that it was just Adam.

“Aaron, wait up!” He could hear Adam catching up to him, but he didn’t care, he just needed to keep walking.

**********

“Why would you think it’s okay to come back here now?” Chaz yelled. She was protective of her son and she was not going to let him get hurt again. Aaron was finally doing okay, he had a real business, he was home again, and he had recently seemed happier than she had seen him in quite a while.

“I just wanted to come back for a visit. This is where my son is buried you know, I have every right to be here!” Hazel replied.

Robert watched from the back of the pub utterly confused about what was going on. He had no idea who this woman was or why Aaron was so upset about her presence. “Do you know that woman?” Lawrence questioned.

Robert had no idea who this woman was. He had never seen her before. He also couldn’t figure out who her son was. “No, I don’t.” He answered after a few more moments of observation.

“He is finally doing okay, Hazel! He has finally moved on! You can’t come back all of a sudden and drag up the past again! It’s not fair to him!” Chaz yelled.

“Why don’t we talk about this in private, ladies?” Paddy had stepped in trying to calm tensions.

“No, I think we’re done here.” Hazel replied. “You’ll be happy to know I’m just here to visit my son. I have no intention of ruining Aaron’s life or anything.”

“Good. Stay away from him. He doesn’t need that right now. He’s happy again and he doesn’t need you bringing up Jackson and forcing him to relive the past.” Chaz said bitterly. She would protect Aaron with all she had. There is no way she would lose him again. Not after she just got him back.

Robert sat taking in everything that was happening. Who was Jackson and why was Aaron so affected by it?

Hazel gave a nod before leaving the pub while Chaz had to excuse herself from bar duties to cool off. Chrissie looked over at Robert with a look of complete confusion, but soon just gave a slight laugh and continued as though nothing had happened. He wanted to shake it off like Chrissie and Lawrence, but he couldn’t. The questions racing through his mind were firing at such a rapid pace it nearly made him nauseous. “I’m not feeling too well, I think I should go get some fresh air.” Robert said after a few minutes of small talk.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Chrissie replied looking slightly concerned.

“I’ll be fine, I just need to get out and walk around for a little while. I’ll meet you at the farm later, yeah?” That seemed to satisfy Chrissie and Lawrence both and she gave him a quick okay before he turned to leave. He wasn’t sure where he was going to go, but he was too confused to sit there and let Chrissie see.

************

“You alright, mate?” Adam asked as they sat down against the fence.

Aaron didn’t know how to answer him. He couldn’t tell him the truth but he didn’t want to lie anymore. He was sick of the lies. He rest his head in his hands wiping at his face a little bit. He probably could have handled the whole Robert problem, but Hazel just added to it all. First Robert tells him that he doesn’t feel the same way and that they’re over and now she was back in town. It was just too much.

They sat there in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before Aaron finally spoke. “I don’t know.” He managed to get out. Adam was his best friend and it was only fair to tell him the truth.

“What’s going on? Is this all about Hazel showing up?” What was he supposed to say to that? It was also about Hazel, but mostly it was about Robert and he couldn’t tell Adam.

“No, it's just...." He started. "Ugh. I gotta go.” He said before getting up, shoving his hands in his pockets, and quickly walking away. He could hear Adam calling his name behind him, but he knew Adam wasn’t following him this time. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to go, but he needed to be alone for a little bit. He needed to process his thoughts.

***********

Robert saw Victoria not long after he left the pub. His urge to stop her was too great. “What are you doing out here?” He asked trying to start up a conversation.

“I’m headed to the pub, said they needed some help.” She said simply.

“Yeah, seemed like they could when I was there.” He said almost to himself.

“What do you mean?” Robert decided it wouldn’t hurt to tell her what had happened. Maybe she would know something.

“There was a big argument between Chaz and some woman. Chaz stormed off furious.”

“What other woman?”

“Her name was Hazel I think. They were arguing about her coming back I guess.” The moment Robert mentioned the name Hazel Victoria’s face slowly dropped. “What’s wrong?” He asked trying to understand what was going on.

“Was Aaron there?” She asked quickly.

“Yeah, he ran out though. Smashed a whole pint on the ground on the way out. Why?”

“Is he okay? Did someone go after him?” She asked, worry filling her voice.

“Adam did. What’s going on?” Robert was completely confused by this point. Obviously this was bigger than he thought.

“I’m texting Adam.” She said pulling out her phone and searching though her contacts hastily.

Robert’s head was reeling. “Vic, who is Hazel?” He asked sternly.

“She’s Jackson’s mum. Aaron’s ex-boyfriend.” She said as she walked away typing out a message to Adam.

Jackson’s mum. Aaron’s ex-boyfriend. Okay, now he knew who Hazel was and who Jackson was, but why had Aaron reacted so badly when he saw her. That’s when it hit him. She said she was here to visit his grave. “Shit.” He muttered under his breath.

“I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you later.” He said before quickly walking away. He needed to find Aaron.

Robert tried to figure out where Aaron might have gone. He probably would have gone as far away from the pub as possible. Suddenly he saw Adam walking toward him.

“Hey, I thought you were with Aaron.” He said trying to remain calm even though he was genuinely worried. “Yeah, I was. He left. I think he just needed to clear his head. I don’t know what’s going on today, but he’s a right mess.” Adam said before pulling out his phone to answer a call.

Robert knew that he had messed up. He didn’t want to admit it, but he knew that he had. The night before Aaron had shared all of his feelings with him. The idea of this affair getting serious was something he was not prepared for.  It started as just a one off and then transformed into whatever it was now. Well, it wasn’t much of anything now since Robert had ended it. He knew he had to put things right, but first he had to find Aaron.

 *************

 “Why did you come back?” He said stirring Hazel from her focus. He couldn’t explain why he wanted to come here, but he needed to.

Hazel turned to see Aaron standing a few feet behind her. She turned back to look at Jackson’s headstone before answering. “I am not here to mess things up for you. I just needed to come back and see him. If that makes any sense.”

They stood in silence for a moment before Hazel turned to Aaron. “Your mum said you’ve moved on, I’m happy for you. I really am. That’s what Jackson would have wanted. He would want you to be happy.”

That was not what Aaron wanted to hear. He didn’t want to think about how Jackson would feel about the way his life had turned out. He didn’t want to think about what Jackson would say about the affair and he definitely didn’t want to think about the fact that Jackson wasn’t around anymore to say anything about it.

A knot formed in his chest. “Just because I moved on doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten him.” He finally answered.

Hazel took a careful look at Aaron. “What’s wrong? Is it really because I’m here? ….I’m not staying, I swear.” She says trying to ease the tension.

Aaron didn’t know how to respond to that. He couldn’t really tell her about the affair, but then again, she was leaving soon anyway. He walked over to sit on the bench nearby and buried his head in his hands. Hazel soon followed him. Everything was too real at the moment. Hazel was next to him. Jackson was buried a few feet away, and Robert was probably still at the pub with his fiancé who he loved so dearly.

“I don’t think Jackson would be as pleased with my life as you think.” Aaron said forcing a laugh, tears forming in his eyes.

“Jackson loved you Aaron. He would just want you to be happy.” Hazel said honestly, seeing the pain in his words.

Her response hit him like a rock. One word in particular sat heavy in his stomach. Love. Aaron immediately thought back to the night before when he had accidentally confessed to Robert how he felt. He hated himself for being so stupid.

“When he said it for the first time I was freaked out. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like he had complicated everything, but he didn’t. I was the one who was complicating everything. He was so patient and forgiving. I didn’t deserve him, Hazel.” Tears began to slowly stream down his face as Hazel slowly moved closer until Aaron finally gave into the temptation and gave her a hug.

The tears kept falling as he realized the truth. Now the tables have turned. He was now in Jackson’s shoes and Robert was now in his. History has a funny way of repeating itself and not always when we want it to. Aaron sat on the bench thinking about how he had handled everything the first time Jackson had told him he loved him and he felt sick. Now he knew what Jackson had felt like and he wished he could go back in time and do it all over again.

“There were times when I was sure you two were over, but you always surprised me. You loved each other and it didn’t matter how you responded at first. He knew you loved him. He still knows that. I guarantee.” Hazel said confidently.

Aaron knew she was right. He knew Jackson loved him and he knew that Jackson forgave him for how he acted the first time. He had to be strong for Jackson. It didn’t matter how Robert felt, he had told him how he feels and that is all he could do. Now he had to accept what happened no matter how hard it was.

“I have a business of my own now. Well, Adam and I both run it. We’re doing really well.” He said with a smile. “I lived in France for a while too.”

Hazel’s face lit up. “France? I am so glad you went out and experienced the world, Aaron. Jackson would be so proud of you.”

 **************

Robert walked into the grave yard and soon saw Aaron and Hazel sitting on a bench. He didn’t want to intrude so he hung back a little bit just glad that Aaron was okay.

“Any new love interests?” Hazel probes lightly.

Robert sees Aaron physically tense at the question. “Not anymore.” He says looking at his hands to avoid making eye contact. “I kind of fucked that one up.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” She said with a smile.

“It was pretty bad, Hazel. He doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” He was still looking at his hands too afraid to move his focus.

“Well then that is his loss! You deserve someone great, Aaron. You really do.”

Robert felt his chest tighten. Aaron did deserve someone great. He deserved someone far better than Robert. Why would Aaron want to be with a lying, cheating, prick when he could have so much more. He turned to walk away when suddenly Aaron noticed him.

“Robert? What are you doing here?” He said confused.

“I..uhh..I was looking for you.” Robert wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but something inside of him refused to let him lie.

“What do you want?” Aaron’s words came out with a harsh edge that told Robert just how badly he had hurt him.

“Can we talk?” Robert surprised even himself. He couldn’t decide why he wasn’t just walking away, but something inside of him refused to give.

Hazel realized her cue to go and stood up from the bench. “I’ll leave you two to talk. Aaron, I’m leaving tomorrow, but if you need anything I have a hotel room. Just come by, alright?”

Aaron gave a nod, “Yeah, alright. Thanks.”

Hazel left fairly quickly pausing for only a moment at Jackson’s grave before heading out towards the road.

“What do you want, Robert? I’m not really in the mood for games.” Aaron snapped.

“Listen, I’m sorry for how things ended up last night. I’m sorry for how I reacted. You caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting that. It just made things….”

“Complicated?” Aaron offered.

“Yeah, complicated. I know I snapped last night and I’m sorry. You alright?” He asked genuinely concerned.

“I guess.” He offered.

Robert could see the struggle painted on his face and he could see his eyes red from crying. In only a moment he found himself drawing him into a deep hug. “I’m so sorry, Aaron. I’m sorry for everything.” He said.

Aaron was shocked at the sudden gesture, but realized that it was exactly what he needed in that moment. After the hug was over Aaron glanced over at Jackson’s grave wondering what he would say if he was alive. Odds were good that he wouldn’t have been thrilled, but at this moment Aaron was pretty content and he knew Jackson would still be happy for him.

“Do you miss him?” Robert’s voice broke through Aaron’s train of thought bringing him back down to reality.

“Yeah. Sometimes more than others. He was my first real love.” He said still looking at the grave. “I still regret what I did, but I know nothing will bring him back now. I just have to move on with my life.” He was starting to get choked up again, but he suddenly felt a warm comforting hand on his.

He looked down to see Robert’s hand on top of his. Robert was looking at him with piercing eyes that were searching Aaron’s face. Their eyes met and Aaron could see the seriousness behind Robert’s eyes as he said, “I want you to know how much I care about you. Okay? I’m sorry for what I’ve said. This is all really confusing for me, and I know that I need to figure this out, but you have to be patient with me, alright? I promise I’m not messing you around.”

He didn’t quite know where they stood, but he did know that it was far better than where they stood a few hours ago. “I meant what I said last night, Robert.” He said.

“And I mean what I just said. I’m not messing you around. I promise.” Robert leaned in for a kiss and after only a moment Aaron returned the favor. It was only a moment before he realized where he was though and stopped. He looked over at Jackson’s grave again feeling slightly guilty about what had just happened, but he knew that Jackson would want him to be happy, and that was one thing he definitely was. He was happy.

“Aaron…” Robert started. “Do you think Jackson would have liked me?” Aaron chuckled. He knew that Jackson would have hated Robert and everything he was about, although he probably wouldn’t have had any disagreements about how fit he was.

“He probably would have hated you.” Aaron said with a smirk.

“That’s not fair!” Robert started. “I’m extremely charming, I could have won him over.”

“Doubt it!” He said with a smile.

Robert leaned over for one more kiss. “Someday I want you to tell me all about him, alright?”

As much as Aaron wanted to say no, he knew that Jackson would always be a huge part of his life and pretending he never existed wasn’t the way to go. Maybe talking about him and telling Robert about him would help. Robert was willing to listen too. That’s a sign that maybe things were looking up again. Only time would tell, but one thing he did know for sure is that he’s not going to give up on Robert yet.

“Alright.” Aaron said with a smile. “Maybe someday.”

“We should go find your mum. She was pretty upset when you ran out.” Robert said gently grabbing Aaron by the waste.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He said, but then he pulled a way for a moment. “Give me one second.” He said running back over to Jackson’s headstone.

He knelt down in the grass and whispered, “Listen, mate. I know you probably don’t like him, but give him the benefit of the doubt, alright? He might surprise you.” And with a quick adjustment of the flowers Hazel had left, he got up and joined Robert.

“Ready to go?” Robert asked with a smile.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Aaron said smiling as Robert wrapped an arm back around his waist. The tension was gone. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was actually genuinely happy for the first time in a long while. He felt like he could handle whatever life had in store for him. Maybe he could, but for now he would just take it one step at a time.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a shitty writer but I wanted to share this anyway. Please be nice!


End file.
